Aspiring to be Useless (Wasting Away in Margaritaville)

Posted on April 8, 2012 by Melissa

Beautiful statue on the malecon in La Paz.

I’m sitting here with my pitcher of marguaritas thinking back over the day and realizing that it’s our third full day here and we already need to buy more tequila and mixer. Man, supplies start running low when you’re spending your days being nothing but useless to anyone. It’s great! If this is what retirement is going to be like, I’m going to be a big fan.

We got some serious lessons in the retired cruising lifestyle yesterday when we finally met up with Steve and Lulu Yoder (http://yodersafloat.wordpress.com/) and Keith and Kay Schardein (www.keithandkayunderway.blogspot.com). We ‘met’ Steve and Lulu via our respective blogs, and Keith and Kay are friends of a friend of mine who put us in touch when we were planning our La Paz trip. Both couples are down here in La Paz enjoying life on their boats and guess what? They know each other! It is said that the cruising community is small, and I guess that must be right.

Truth be told, these couples saved us from having to drink several extra pitchers of fire-water margaritas due to the extreme stress we’ve been under since we got here. Without a doubt, there is no reason to be here without a boat. We feel literally stranded, land locked, like boats on the hard. The sea beckons, but we can only long for it. We stand on the docks and stare into the water like complete fools. We’ve walked down the malecon and seen all the pretty statues. Meh. We have been in the hot tub and in the pool. Sigh. We’ve gone to some pretty beaches up north of town. Too crowded this weekend anyhow. I’ve hung in the hammock and read my book. Yawn. There will be no dessert hiking in this desert. This is one inhospitable desert.

So you can imagine that it was with profound relief that we stepped into Keith and Kay’s dinghy today for the ride out to their boat, a Westsail 43 anchored almost directly next to the Yoder’s boat, a Westsail 28. Not only did we get to be on the water, we got to see new and exciting boats as well! We could hardly express our delight.

Mike, trying to communicate with the natives.

Mike and I first boarded Kieth and Kay’s Westsail 43, Chamisa, bearing the international currency of cruisers, beer. The wind was up in the harbor, 14 knots or so with a few whitecaps which made us feel almost like we were under sail. Mike and I were anxious to learn as many of the finer points to retiring to this lifestyle as we could, and both couples were very generous in sharing their knowledge. Cold beer, warm wind, blue water, good conversation. Oh, and big dolphins. Did I mention those? What could be better?

When I think about the harried life we lead back in Tacoma, I am more than a little chagrined. We can go literally months between visits with our neighbors, and it always seems like they have to be arranged. There’s none of this ‘hanging out’ that seems to just happen naturally in the cruising community. We’re so busy being useful back home, we have no time to simply ‘be’ with others. Sure, we’re on vacation now, but our new friends are not on vacation. They live this way. After lives of complete and utter usefulness in the workplace and at home, after raising families, owning homes, and all of the other useful things people do, they have aspired to uselessness. I hope we are not far behind.

Knowing Steve’s penchant for good food, we followed him to this restaurant and it didn’t let us down. Fabulous burgers!

Notes From the Universe

Posted on March 12, 2012 by Melissa

A galaxy far, far away.

This Little Cunning Plan is really putting my faith to the test. Not that it hasn’t been tested before. It’s just that at the age I am at now, it seems like time is short to live our dreams, so I feel that sense of urgency; not unlike the feeling I used to get when separated from my babies for too long when I left them with someone else. I’m so irritated at being this old that I forgot how old I was the other day. (Try it. It’s a useful trick.) So the testing I’m going through has this sense of urgency on some days.

Anyhow, back to the Universe, a word which here means God, the great Creator, the Goddess, Holy Father, Unifying Field, or any number of other monikers people seem to use interchangeably. I generally have a lot of faith in it, whatever it is. And I am practicing waiting patiently, working on enjoying my life as it is, while focusing on how it will be in the future, all at the same time. Sometimes this is a tricky balance, such as when I look around and notice all the work that has to be done around here, or when I get frustrated that our boat hasn’t yet sold. And on those days, I can really use a little encouragement.

That’s where Notes From the Universe comes in. The notes are in the form of little email messages I get daily through a program generated by Mike Dooley, guru of ‘Thoughts Become Things‘. He’s an inspirational speaker, author, and all that, who makes his money doing those speaking and authoring things. His message is simple: that what you think about is what you manifest, what you focus on becomes your reality. It’s a fairly simplistic version of the ‘law of attraction’, pretty ‘New Agey’, not real deep stuff. I’m not particularly recommending his books, as I find them to be a little repetitive and not a lot of substance. I like more academic works, as a general rule. But I give him a lot of credit for having a clear, unwavering message that is positive and hopeful. He is uplifting to people and that’s all to the good. His ‘Notes’ program, though, I really love.

You sign up with your email address and create a profile that includes your hopes and dreams for the future. The notes are tailored toward that profile. I made mine so long ago that now when I get a note that references ‘blue water voyaging’, it’s a little freaky until I remember that it’s computer generated. Nonetheless, it works. No matter what your goal may be, this little program offers encouragement in a loving way from the Universe. Here’s my message for today:

“Perhaps the greatest of all illusions, Melissa, is that life could somehow be better than it already is. You’ve got it made- The Universe”

How perfect is that? Just last night Mike and I were commenting to each other about how very, very fortunate we’ve been in our lives. Happily married coming up on 30 years, two beautiful children who are successful at life, a nice home, good professions that we’ve enjoyed (even if we’re tired of working) and that have offered a satisfying standard of living. We have so much to be grateful for. And the Universe does a good job of reminding me of that.

If the Universe is intelligent, it understands me better than I do.

Hope ‘Springs’ Eternal!

Posted on February 29, 2012 by Melissa

I am hopeful for an early spring this year. This hope comes as I look at the temperature outside and realize it’s a chilly 33 degrees Fahrenheit. And that’s without the wind chill and the freezing rain/snow that’s been blowing around all day long. Once this winter storm passes, though, I’m going to hold out for spring to come early and stay. We deserve it. It’s time. And I think I may have evidence of such an event blooming in my yard. Walking the garden, I notice that I have a lot of things blooming much earlier this year.

Of course, I say that every year because it’s about this time that those of us who are the uber-gardeners start chomping at the bit to get outside and put our hands in the dirt. It’s true. I have been happiest with dirt under my nails and leaves in my hair. Fortunately, I married a good man who doesn’t mind a few twigs. In the past this extreme love of the garden has vied for space in my psyche with my love of sailing. I admit that many times I have let Mike go down to the boat by himself, preferring to putter around in the garden snipping this, digging that. My garden is beautiful. I’ve had many years of pleasure creating and maintaining it. Gardens are world’s in and of themselves. Ask any passionate gardener.

Last year I noticed that my feelings had changed. I still loved the garden, but I started choosing to go down to the boat rather than work all day. I allowed once pampered plants to fend for themselves. “Live or die”, I said to them. “You choose.” (Yep, I do talk to my plants.) The balance was tipping; the downhill slide into full fledged boat craziness had begun. I bought a hammock, put it up on the boat, and commenced laying in it with a good book.

I usually don’t do much in moderation, a karmic lesson that will take me a lifetime to learn properly. So once the balance shifts, it’s a little like riding a freight train. Still, the karma requires that I throttle back the engine some and pay attention to the fullness of my life now, not simply the life I want to lead in the future. So I’m trying. In so doing, I go out to my garden and look at what’s blooming, plan what needs to happen this year; make time and space in the psyche for plants I still love and spaces that still feed my soul.

Here are some photos I took while walking the garden on a sunny day this week. The Hellebores are blooming! I love them because they bloom in the winter, then keep nice foliage the rest of the year. They are no muss, no fuss plants with a lot of impact. And they don’t need much sun, which is good because I don’t have much to give them up here.

Hellebores, who give up their beauty in the depths of winter, are the promise of the spring yet to emerge for us. They are the hope-keepers of the garden, bridging the memory of gardens past with the vision for the garden’s future. They say to us, ‘Just wait patiently for the future to emerge. No need to hurry. Appreciate me right now.’ And I love them for it, and try to listen.