Tag Archives: Middle age

Days of Sloth

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It’s the week between Christmas and New Year’s Day, a time when people reflect on their lives and what they’ve accomplished over the year, setting goals for the future. The dark days of winter are, I’m sure, created in order for us to have time to be introspective, thoughtful, mindful of how we live our lives. And I intend to do just that. After I’m finished resting and relaxing.

Hermione knows what I’m talking about. What a face!

Yes, indeed, I have hit the days of Sloth full force with my resting ways. Today I have accomplished the following: a shower, throwing wrapping paper from Christmas into the recycle bin. That is all, really. And I am completely satisfied with my level of usefulness in the world. My needs this week, in terms of being at all useful to others, are small.  And in this slow-moving, deliberate living I have embraced of late, I have, indeed, had some time to think, even if I haven’t given it much notice.

The ultra cool Space Needle in Seattle. I stuck this in here because it’s a groovy photo I took this season. Some day I will buy myself a really awesome camera and learn how to use it.

I’ve been thinking about how this time last year I was on a rampage getting rid of stuff. It’s as though I somehow thought that our cutting of the dock lines was just around the corner of our lives and that I had to hurry up and simplify. Oh, brother.  In so doing, I have complicated things terribly. Whatever you do, don’t believe everything you read about how ‘freeing’ it is to get rid of all your stuff because sometimes that is just a damn lie. And this lie comes home to roost on Christmas day when you have 9 people over for dinner and own only 3 dining room chairs because you gave the other chairs away since they were cluttering up the place. And then you have the neighbors over for dinner and apologize about the lack of chairs, commenting that you don’t know what happened to them and they respond with, “You gave them to our son last year because you didn’t need them anymore. Do you need them back? You don’t have anyplace for people to sit when you entertain.” Right. Like I’m going to take back chairs I gave to someone just starting out in life who can barely make a living much less buy new chairs. How embarrassing.

Oh sure, throwing everything out would be freeing if I didn’t ever need things again, or if I was moving onto a boat, say, tomorrow. But since neither of those things is true, I better slow down or we won’t have anyplace to sit in our own home.

What we have here is a collection of very tiny ornaments. I will NOT be getting rid of my collection of tiny Christmas ornaments. They will go with us on whatever boat we have. They take up almost no room. Without Christmas, there would be no Days of Sloth. And I must have them.

Oh, we’ve de-cluttered the place nicely this year. We’ve made so many trips to Goodwill that they know us by name. But the dirty truth is this: getting rid too much stuff well in advance of making a move to a small place, or a boat, is useless. Why? Because nature abhors a vacuum, that’s why. We live in a 3000 square foot house, more or less. Already with both kids gone most of the time, we feel as though we are knocking around in a huge empty space. Getting rid of things that take up that empty space just creates more empty space, and, naturally, it somehow gets filled with more stuff.  It just feels weird to have big blank areas where furniture needs to be. I took the advice of all the self-help gurus and got rid of all the stuff I didn’t use or have on display. That leaves exactly 3000 square feet of stuff that I DO use and IS on display. The house is too big for just us, but we’re in a transitional phase just now and we’re not getting rid of it anytime soon.

And speaking of that, I’ve been pretty attached to my house lately. Maybe it’s just that it’s winter, and cold and wet but I’ve come to realize that my dreams of being on a boat really do generally include warm weather and sunshine. Not that I don’t want to sail in colder climates. I do, but I don’t intend to be miserable all the time while doing it. So this time of year when I miss the boat and think ‘let’s go sailing’, I look outside, realize that what’s in my head doesn’t match the reality outside,  and then become thankful that I’m warm and dry. Call me middle-aged. Call me a sailing wimp. Whatever. I prefer to think of it as ‘blooming where I’m planted’.

Here’s a photo from the butterfly house at the Pacific Science Center, for those who need a break from the narration. I like how this butterfly totally brings together the colors of the plants. This is how gardeners think in the winter time.

Mike has been more productive today, but then, he has a more finely developed sense of guilt than I have. After all, he did grow up in the south. He and Andrew replaced the brake shoes on two cars today, so he feels like he deserves to be laying on the couch reading one of his many new books he received from Santa this Christmas…books on sailing. Mike received 4 riveting books that are sailing oriented, and we’ll post about them later. For now, suffice to say that while Mike received books on sailing adventures, and Andrew received new sailing boots and a new anchor roller for Danger Kitten, I received kitchen utensils and a gift certificate to the spa. I’m beginning to sense a trend. Now, to be fair, I have been ‘into’ cooking lately, as is evidenced by the luscious Beef Bourguignon I served for Christmas dinner. Still, I believe my point is well taken. I will be reading his books so I dearly hope he is in a sharing kind of mood.

He must be really enjoying this book because I’ve heard a lot of snorting and guffawing, and comments like ‘this guy either has balls or he’s an idiot’. And also things like, “I know what’s going to happen next because we’ve done this. Oh, Lord, at least we know he lived to tell of it.” I can’t wait to read this book.

And so during these days of sloth when I’ve given myself the gift of not giving a damn what I get done, Mike lies on one couch, I type on another couch… you can see where I’m going with this: we simply must buy a boat with two generously built settees. Otherwise, there is no other way this whole plan will actually work.

 

 

The Menopause Sucks!: A Series of Rants*

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This is a blog about our plan to transition from being a couple raising children and owning a home to a couple sailing around the world on a yet-to-be-determined boat. As we reflected on our Who Are We page, we are firmly in the middle of life. This has its pleasures, more free time being the biggest one. But this can be a dark time for women, a dark and dreadful time. This can be a time filled with horror and fear, and not just because Halloween is closing in on us. What, you may be asking as you shake in your shoes, could be causing this otherwise sensible and even-tempered woman to be filled with horror and darkness? Is it criminal activity in her neighborhood? No, sweet readers. It is not. It is criminal activity in my body. This criminal is known by the sobriquet ‘The Menopause.’

‘The Menopause’, as we call it in our house, sucks. I am not making this up.  No one could possibly make up the cosmic joke that is menopause. I am the first woman in my family to go through ‘natural’ menopause. While the the other women in my family have had their lady parts taken out, I still have mine, not that they are doing much for me. Therefore I had no idea what to expect.  I avoided reading about it  because on some level I must have known it was going to be filled with expletive-type experiences.

Craziness. It’s not just for PMS anymore.

What, you might be asking yourself, does The Menopause have to do with sailing? It has absolutely everything to do with it, even down to the fact that after menopause there is no need to take up three square feet of space storing those unmentionable feminine hygiene products. So far this is the most positive result I’ve experienced. Consider the following chart of accurate data:

What is needed in order to be an effective sailor: (a knowledge of the boat and sailing basics is assumed)

  1.  Use of language
  2.  Memory
  3.  Emotional strength and containment
  4.  Muscles
  5.  Body visibility, ie the ability to be seen by others
  6. Bladder strength

What The Menopause will take from you without your permission: 

  1. Use of language
  2.  Memory
  3.  Emotional strength and containment
  4.  Muscles
  5.  Body visibility, ie the ability to be seen by others
  6. Bladder strength
Are you seeing an overlap here, a pattern? Do we need to break out the Venn Diagrams?

Lest you forget what you learned in Algebra I.  In this case, imagine one circle directly over the other circle. That’s right, you’re catching on! It would be just one huge circle with a thick edge. If you are a math type, then in my case A=B.

I started to do one massive post on this topic and then realized that I had way too much material. Really, The Menopause offers so many rich opportunities to rant, whine, and stomp my feet in frustration that there is simply no way to say it all in one post. So there will be multiple posts fleshing out some of the subjects so accurately stated in my data charts above. It may be that I will come up with more. I can’t remember everything just now. Or ever.
Not much has been written on the interweb about the effects of menopause on sailing and/or vice versa. Doing the ‘google’ on those two topic words produces an irritating number of websites devoted to ‘sailing through menopause’. As if. They have nothing to do with boats and are useless to me. Suzanne Giesemann, Navy Commander, World Sailor, and professional Medium/Psychic,  wrote a blog post about her ennui due to Menopause Mood Disorder™ back in 2009. I felt I’d found my kindred spirit! But then she followed up in the comments section that she found a little supplement that made it all better. Oh, come on! Really, Suzanne? I mean, you are one of my personal heroines! I’ve read all your books on sailing! Hell, I OWN your books! Your name is the SAME as my middle name! Et tu? I was crushed with disappointment.
I feel like The Menopause is a good topic for this blog on occasion. Think about it. Many of the women who are out there cruising around are middle aged women. They’re either looking forward to menopause, are in the middle of it, or have already said goodbye to it. I wonder how some of them are faring? (And their partners, too.) If I had a research grant, I would perhaps do some study of the effects of the sailing/cruising lifestyle on the  sufferings of menopause. My hypothesis? Cruising might make a lot of it better. On the other hand, having a hot flash down in the tropics cannot be anything but hell on earth.
Between this series, the product reviews which are still in the works, and the series on cheap tricks, I should so busy in the coming weeks I might forget to apply my hormone creams. Be warned. We try to keep this blog ‘family friendly’, light and fluffy like marshmallow cream,  but emotions run high on this topic and you’ll note number 3 above regarding emotional containment. So if you are the sensitive type, don’t say I didn’t warn you.  I may have to break out choice expletives to get my points across as sometimes those are the only words that manage to surface through my menopause fog. I’ll try to remember to disguise them with the use of ***, but no promises.
*Your experience may differ, and if it does, consider yourself lucky.
  

Sloops, Ketches, Cats, and All That Junk

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I’m going through another one of those phases dreamers and planners go through. You know that phase where you allow the mind to wander off into the hinterlands of possibilities and then come back with a few good ideas? That’s the phase I’m talking about. The combination of a curious mind, hours of downtime, and access to ‘The Google’ means that I’ve been engaging in what is becoming known around here as ‘self medication’.

Usually that means I’m looking at boats on Yachtworld, Craigslist, and Sailboatlistings. Okay, well, yes, I’m doing that, of course, but one can only look at the exact same boats for so long before they begin to run together in one’s proverbial mind. So I started focusing on rigs to expand my search criteria.

Here’s the deal: I’m looking for a boat that can take us anywhere we want to go. Anywhere! It has to be comfortable, it has to perform well, and it has to be easy to sail. I am not getting any younger, as proven by my recent birthday. The steps we need to take in order to get this plan off the dock will take a few years, making me that much older when we start out. We want to sail places like down the coast of Chile, Easter Island, the Galapagos and beyond. By the time I get to do that, I’m probably going to be pushing 60. Yikes!

So it occurs to me that I should be looking for a boat that will be easy to sail not only now, but in the future as well. Otherwise, I might not enjoy it as much as I’d like to, and there will be too much of my relying on Mike and his man body (which is also not getting any younger, I might add.) In addition, it’s not so easy to sell a boat in ‘this economy’, so this makes it more important than ever to choose the right boat to begin with. So I’ve been doing some research on different rigs, particularly the cat rigged boats with unstayed masts, and the junk rigs, which also have unstayed masts.

Initially the idea of an unstayed mast filled me with trepidation. But as I began to educate myself more about them I began to change my mind. I like the idea of having less sailing hardware to worry about, and I’m reading that these boats are very easy to sail and do well in all types of seas and weather.  The junk rig has not caught on in the U.S., but it’s making quite a showing in Europe where there is an active Junk Rig Association. Apparently they are now making sails that allow the boats to really give the Bermuda rig some stiff competition.  And for sheer beauty on the water there is nothing to compare. Last year I bought the book Voyaging on a Small Income, by Annie Hill. The title says it all and I recommend reading this book if you, like us, are among the 99%.  The Hills are definitely of the ‘go simple’ opinion. [amazon_image id=”1888671378″ link=”true” target=”_blank” size=”medium” ]Voyaging On A Small Income[/amazon_image]

This boat is currently for sale in Sydney, BC. I'd love to see it.

Mike has always admired the cat rigged Nonsuch sailboats. Alex Kimball, the man who did the painting of Moonrise, owns a very beautiful Nonsuch and he and his wife live aboard the boat. They plan to take her down the coast of Mexico and through the Panama canal, then continue on to Europe. At a raftup last spring we were able to go aboard Alex’s boat and let me tell you: that is one beautiful vessel. The decks are completely clear of trip hazzards, too. When I heard they were planning to go ocean voyaging in the boat, my ears pricked up. I began to think outside the Bermudian box.

Then, on our recent ferry trip over to San Juan Island, I saw the loveliest boat on the water. It was a cat ketch rig and it was just beautiful. Maybe it was the Freedom 33 cat ketch that is for sale up on San Juan Island. Need to tack? Just turn the wheel. The sails tack themselves. Who knew?

Isn't this lovely?

I don’t know why these boats haven’t caught on around here. According to what I’m reading, they are simple to sail, well balanced, and economical. It’s not like these rigs are new. They’ve been around for ages. The junk rig has the added benefit of having sails that you can make yourself if necessary. In the UK, they race junk rigs alongside Bermuda rigged boats so I guess they are not exactly slow if you have the right sail shape. Alex Kimball’s Nonsuch beat the pants of lots of other boats in one of the Puget Sound Cruising Club ‘races’ this spring. I suspect the lack of popularity has something to do with boats being designed to the rules for racing or something like that.

So I don’t get why I’m not seeing tons of these out on the water. Could it be part of the herd mentality that keeps people from thinking outside the box?  I’d really like to get on a few of these boats to find out. If you’ve ever sailed on one of these kinds of boats, or you know any one who has one, please post. I know just enough about this to be dangerous, but I’d like to know more. What else am I going to do while Moonrise is still on the market?

From the Junk Rig Association site. What's not to love? Go there and check them out.