Category Archives: Sailboats

Only Love Can Break Your Heart*

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What do the following words mean to you? “Professionally maintained for the last 40 years.” To me, they mean just what they say, and the implication is that a vessel with this description is one that has been cared for well. This is how Flying Gull was advertised in her Yachtworld listing. That may have been true when this boat was kept in Rochester, NY, but it’s not true now.  That statement, among many others in the listing, proved to be false and thus our hearts are broken as we have to walk away from this boat that we both truly love.

She is completely beautiful and worth taking care of.

She is completely beautiful and worth taking care of.

I’d like to make the point here that we should have known that anything that looks too good to be true probably is. More’s the pity. Hindsight being the 20/20 vision that it is, there were clues. For instance, the new paint job on this boat is already beginning to bubble in a couple of small places. Then there was the paint on the bronze trim along the edge of the stern. Why would anyone leave paint all over a bronze piece like that? We had strong feelings about the quality of a paint job that was done in such a sloppy manner. What’s on the surface is often an indication of what’s underneath.

There was the owner’s story about the rigging and how two of the shrouds were installed backwards. And they had been that way for several years. The owner was not sure he wanted to put the boat to a test sail because of this rigging issue. He didn’t want to stress the rig. Excuse me?  Again, why was this not fixed? We began to be very wary, but by this time, we were in too deep. We loved and wanted the boat. We had a shared vision of owning that boat and, after all, it’s an easy fix, right? We would have to get a rigger out there eventually, right? So we agreed to split the cost for a rigger to come out and take a look because not being able to sail a sailboat during the test sail? Well, you get the idea here. The good news is that the rigging is in excellent condition. It’s the one thing on the boat that is really, really good. The bad news is that there was no reason to have to hire a rigger just then, before we even owned the boat, since the shrouds were NOT backwards at all. We began to get seriously worried about what the survey might show but if things looked as good as the rigging, we’d be boat owners soon. 20130423_125 (2)

The test sail was a bit of a comedy of errors. True, this boat backs out like a dream, nice and straight. I was beginning to feel confidence. And I did like the way a heavier boat felt. But we never actually got to set all of the sails correctly. As a result, this boat didn’t want to tack. That’s right, we would get going a bit, then need to tack, and she just didn’t want to do it. Probably that’s because we couldn’t get up enough speed in the amount of space we had, and probably it’s also because she really needed to have the mizzen sail up along with a head sail. She was not balanced and the sails were definitely in too tight for the broad reach we should have been on. The surveyor was frustrated, and so were we. The owner, who, of course, wants to sell his boat, focused on how straight the boat tracks. And he was completely correct! She tracks straight and true. It’s turning that is the problem.

She also has a steering mechanism that is, apparently, old school stuff so it takes awhile for her to respond. We talked to the surveyor about this and he said it reminded him of an old schooner he’d worked on long ago. He thinks probably a little attention to the mechanism would fix the problem, but that’s yet another system we would have to inspect separately. Still, I loved the feel of the boat and that few minutes where she was actually at a decent heel and we were moving so smoothly through the water showed me what she could do. Also, I had no trouble raising the mainsail, which I was nervous about. With a longer winch handle I think it would have been even easier.  I still loved the boat and I know she can sail. Sparkman and Stephens do not design boats that sail like tanks.

Part of the steering mechanism and the emergency tiller stub. This is the area Tony could not get to where he thinks there may be rot.

Part of the steering mechanism and the emergency tiller stub. This is the area Tony could not get to where he thinks there may be rot.

No, it was the survey that gave us our ‘come to Jesus’ moment. Or three. And it was painful, I can tell you. There is rot. And this means she has NOT been maintained. She has been left to sit while organisms have been left to grow. Some of the rot is not bad, and the Tony thought it could be easy to take care of. But the killer was the rot under the sole in the galley. Apparently you can put your hand through some of it. In a word: Bad.  To fix this, the entire galley would have to be taken out, the sole removed, the beams replaced, and then everything put back in place. Such was my love of the boat that all I could think was ‘this will be a great way to redesign the galley the way we want it’. But Mike had other ideas and I could see that he was getting further and further from feeling good about this.

The other area of major concern is possible rot in the transom. This could sink the boat if not repaired. Tony was unable to get down into the area to really take a good look, but he photographed it and we can see why he is concerned. He’s a very experienced guy. If he’s worried, then so are we. There is already one place where there has been a repair on the transom. You’d think that a boat that had been ‘professionally maintained’ would not be in such a condition but it’s evident that some of this stuff has been there awhile. These things may happen quickly in the right conditions, but they do not happen overnight. They happen with neglect.

We know the masts were pulled a few years ago, painted and then reset. It’s nice to have a pretty paint job. But like too much makeup on an old face, a pretty paint job cannot hide the reality underneath. So when we discovered that the mizzen mast was hanging off the mast step by a considerable amount, we shouldn’t have been surprised.

Then there is the electrical. There are hot wires that are not connected well and are hazardous, and in one area of the boat the surveyor describes the electrical as a ‘rat’s nest’. And he’s right. It’s just not acceptable on any level, even though the electrical panels themselves are terrific.  Only one of the exterior light works. The navigation lights were disconnected when the rigging was replaced and haven’t been reconnected since then. This boat was surely not listed as a ‘project’ boat, but it should have been.  In addition there are three different electrical systems, all with different voltages. Just the thought of having to rewire the whole boat made Mike take some big steps back.

Unfortunately the bowsprit, too, is rotten.

Unfortunately the bowsprit, too, is rotten.

Finally there is that engine. It blew loads of white smoke the entire time. So much white smoke that when we crossed underneath one of the drawbridges, the bridgeman blew his whistle at us 5 times. He thought we must be on fire. Great. Allegedly this engine has been rebuilt, but we never saw any documentation of that. We would have to get an engine survey and, frankly, we just didn’t have the heart. On the plus side, the engine ran well and was very responsive. I do want to be fair.

The surveyor also had some concerns about taking this boat on blue water. His concerns were valid ones, but they were also things I think we could have addressed, such as installing hand holds on the cabin top and in the wheel house. He was concerned that the wheelhouse and the aft cabin, in particular, were spaces one wouldn’t want to fall across because they are large. He also had concern about the entry of the wheelhouse being on one side, worrying that in a knockdown situation on that side, the interior of the boat could be compromised. I think these things are to be kept in mind, but rather than give up the boat, I would look for solutions such as what we would need to do to protect that entry way, using a different way to enter the boat while at sea, etc.

At the end of the day, it seemed like the price we were prepared to pay for this boat was for a boat that had been well kept, not for a boat that had been neglected. As the projects began to mount, Mike and I were both pretty concerned about being able to handle all of the repairs that needed to be made. I admit Mike was more concerned than I was, but he is generally more practical by nature. And I knew he loved the boat, too. We always said we’d be prepared to walk away, regardless of the almost 2000$ we put into having her rigging looked at, having her surveyed, and hauled out. That’s cheap compared to what this has cost us emotionally.20130423_91 (2)

We were divided as to whether to make another offer, much lower than the first, taking into consideration the amount of work that needed to be done. I had suggested we get an idea of how much these repairs that needed doing right away were going to cost, then make an offer based on that amount. But somehow, that didn’t happen and we ended up simply withdrawing our offer. When the reality of it hit, it was devastating. Why do boats mean so much? It’s flipping ridiculous sometimes.

Two days later I still have a hard time even thinking about it, much less seeing photos of Flying Gull. We got used to the idea of her being ‘ours’ before she really was, a mistake I will endeavor not to make in the future.  I don’t want to think about her sitting there being neglected and going to rot when I know what a special boat she really is. Mike doesn’t want that, either. But we would literally have to be able to get her for about 20% of her listing price in order to be able to pay a shipwright to repair her hull, a mechanic to look at the engine, and a marine electrician to rewire her, because we don’t have the time to rebuild a boat to that degree ourselves. At least that’s what we think. I haven’t had the heart to call anyone to ask what these things would cost.

As long as she is still on the market I’m going to wonder if we have done the right thing. I know she would be a lot of work, and expensive to moor. And, of course, big boats cost more to haul out and all that. All boat owners are aware of that unless money is no object for them. But my heart does not care about those kinds of things. My heart just loves that boat. And that’s why it’s broken just now.

A favorite photo.

A favorite photo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

*Lyrics by Neil Young

Rigging? Check. Testsail? Check. Survey?

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Now we wait. Tuesday the rigging survey went well. The rigger will make some recommendations, but nothing earth shattering. Yesterday was the test sail and I thought the gods were smiling on us as we had good enough wind, and it was warm and sunny. If you do not live in the Pacific Northwest, it’s hard for you to know exactly what this means to us. But believe me when I say this is a huge deal.

Raising the main with an archaic system, and a winch handle that is too short to offer much leverage. This would have to go.

Raising the main with an archaic system, and a winch handle that is too short to offer much leverage. This would have to go.

On board were the owner and his friend, our yacht broker, Lee, the surveyor Tony Allport (who is completely awesome, by the way) and both of us. This boat is so big that even with this number of people, it did not feel crowded.

Leaving the dock was a bit of fun because of the wind and the fact that this boat had to back out of a long, narrow passage with boats on either side. I can say this: Lee did not die. He may have had to leap across a gap as wide as he was tall in order to get aboard, grab the toe rail and pull himself up, but he accomplished this feat in a manly way that implied excellent upper body strength. It took 4 people to get this boat off the dock safely. It would be awhile before Mike and I would be able to do it alone without having heart palpitations. Let’s not even talk about the shenanigans that were required to get this boat docked at the haul out yard, and how many trials it took to get accomplished. Hints: No bow thruster. Big boat. Wind.

Mike and Tony talk about that windlass. It works! That was a good thing.

Mike and Tony talk about that windlass. It works! That was a good thing.

Lake Union is just beautiful. It might not be the best place to test sail this boat, however, because by the time you get all the many variable sails up and ready you are almost at the other end of the lake. We decided to tack across a couple of times. Just at the point where Flying Gull is getting into her groove, it’s time to tack again. And she doesn’t enjoy tacking into the wind at slow speeds when her sails are not really set well. In fact, she is quite stubborn about that, making one have to jibe and go around the long way in order to try again. Twice. I’m pretty sure that’s not the fault of the boat. I’m almost completely positive that Sparkman and Stephens designed boats better than that.

So I have to rely on the maybe 2 minutes of excellent sailing we got under our belts, at a nice angle of heel. It didn’t last long, but long enough to know that she could do it, and it felt nice.

One of the things that needs to change about the sail handling. Yes, there are ways to address this.

One of  the things that needs to change about the sail handling. Yes, there are ways to address this.

The haulout was not as traumatic as we thought it would be. Frankly, I thought when she was hauled I would consider her to be about the size of a pod of whales. But I did not. She has a long shallow keel that keeps her from looking quite as big as her sisters with the deeper keels. Anyway, Tony took his little hammer and tap tap tapped his way on every part of that hull, marking a few places and making notes.

Standing back from her in her huge slings, Mike and I commented, with sighs all around, that she really is a beautiful boat. She really, truly is. It’s one thing to think so ourselves, but it’s another to see the slack-jawed looks on the faces of the young men who work at the boat yard. They were almost reverent. If we buy her, we have to go back there and take them out on the boat.

Is it any wonder people get slack-jawed when they see her like this?

Is it any wonder people get slack-jawed when they see her like this?

But I am telling you about the love of the beauty of the vessel. And we all know that beauty is only skin deep. At this point it is all about Tony’s survey, so we are extremely relieved that two years ago Mike saw something he wrote in 48 North and chose him to be the surveyor of whatever boat we bought next. Yep. Two years ago. We have complete faith that he understands our plans for the future and will tell us what would need to happen in order to make Flying Gull the boat of those plans. It is so wonderful to have an objective, learned expert to talk to about these things. We all know that hearts rule where boats are concerned. So having someone remind us about the ”head’ part of these decisions is worth its weight in sovereigns.

And there are issues with the boat and with its being the right one for our plans. It would be excellent if we simply wanted to live aboard, or if we just wanted to take her to some restaurant dock and have dinner. It would be excellent for going up to the Gulf Islands, or even further into British Columbia. If those were our only plans, we would buy her without any hesitation. But we know already that there are some valid concerns about how complicated her systems are. We know that the sail handling is cumbersome, that there are too many booms on deck, that, in short, this rig needs to be redesigned for us to be able to handle it with ease. These things we know can be addressed. We know that there are some issues with rot. We just don’t yet know how much.

Tony, hammer in one hand, ice pick and chalk in another. He sails an Albin 30.

Tony, hammer in one hand, ice pick and chalk in another. He sails an Albin 30.

So, we wait for the results of the survey, and then we see where we stand.

Official Diagnosis: Crazy-Pants

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I should simply have left the country for this part of the boat selling process. It has been determined that I am constitutionally unable to keep my heart from interfering with the whole thing. It could look to outsiders as though I am still too attached to Moonrise to part with her, but I don’t think so.  I think the reasons have just as much to do with fear of making the wrong choices, with knowing the future is filled with unlimited possibilities, and with always looking for the ‘why’ in the things that happen. Oh, for sure, sometimes I am just too ‘deep’ for my own good, you know? Some of us around here, and I am naming no names, simply think TOO MUCH. As Freud said, sometimes a sex dream is just a sex dream (or something like that). And I will not even go there. But I do wish all the voices in my head would be on the same page.

Andrew was with us when we sailed Moonrise home from her moorage in Olympia.

Andrew was with us when we sailed Moonrise home from her moorage in Olympia.

It all started with two things: finding out through our bank that we could actually borrow the money for a boat without having to put anything down (never mind all you financial geniuses out there who have just sucked in your collective breaths), and hearing my son say these words, “I have been in some scary situations with Danger Kitten. She’s a really lightweight boat for the winds in Bellingham.”. My mother’s heart opened the door to fear for my son. Profound fear. The kind that makes me really focused, really fast, and not necessarily in a good way.

And before you suck in your breath yet again and utter words such as ‘these are learning situations’, ‘sounds like he is getting good sailing experience’, or anything of that ilk, let me remind you that you do not know my son. Or his history. When he was a child, we quickly recognized that it was our job to keep this kid from doing something that would have life altering, if not life stopping, consequences. This is a kid who wanted to build a metal forge in the backyard at age 7. And he did it. This is a kid who spent years of his life making things that would shoot other things. I know that many little boys, and some girls, like to shoot things. But when I say my kid’s drive was extreme, that it included making his own pressurized airguns, and that it included building huge medieval siege weapons in our back yard (and they were accurate and worked!), you will simply need to believe me. There was no way to stop him without killing his spirit. And we knew what we were watching was a very potentially dangerous kind of genius. Dangerous to himself. We focused on doing our best to keep him safe, and we said ‘no’. A lot.

Andrew has many fond memories of sailing Saucy Sue, our Catalina 27

Andrew has many fond memories of sailing Saucy Sue, our Catalina 27.

And we failed. We failed completely. He had a very bad accident when he was 12 and was being creative. It had life altering consequences, although you could never tell by looking at him. And apparently I have still not forgiven myself for that. I thought I had, but clearly not. Because when Andrew talked about how his little boat responds to the high winds on Bellingham Bay, I began to get afraid for him, even though I know he is a cautious sailor. Ironically, it was his bad accident that got our family into sailing in the first place. I do not want that irony to become a bitter one.

So when he began to make noises about wishing he had chosen a heavier boat (which, by the way was my advice from the beginning), I began to think about how we could make that happen so that he would be safer and I could sleep at night and not worry about him. We bought him that boat, like I bought him the supplies that ended up hurting him at age 12. He named the boat Danger Kitten. Do you get it?

Danger Kitten. As clean as boat as you could ever hope to find on Craigslist.

Danger Kitten. As clean as boat as you could ever hope to find on Craigslist.

Please do not bother me with your rational thinking processes. I’m a mother. If rationality had anything to do with it, I would never have given birth in the first place.  I know that many good things have happened both in spite of and because of that accident. Yes, we do know how to make lemonade from lemons. I know Andrew did not let that stop him from living a full and enjoyable life. It did not take away his courage for living.  I know we would never have discovered a love of sailing had we not been compelled to bring our family together after such an experience.  I also know that his being safe in this world is not up to me, or his dad, or even his sister anymore. But at the end of the day, I am just grateful I have my son all in one piece.

So, this is where the whole life view thing comes in and the whole ‘looking at the possibilities’ comes it. I began to wonder if the reason we didn’t yet have a buyer for  Moonrise might be because we needed to let Andrew use that boat while he was up in Bellingham, and then sell it later. Since Moonrise is paid for, and we don’t technically need to sell her in order to buy another boat, it seemed to make a lot of sense. Like a car that’s paid for, that boat is worth more to us than it’s going to be worth to anyone else. We know that boat inside and out. We know it’s as safe a boat as you can get for the kind of sailing we do around here. He could safely take that boat up to British Columbia, or even Alaska. We know it handles great. Moorage for Moonrise would be only a little bit more than moorage for Danger Kitten. You see how that thought process quickly got out of control.

Mike and Andrew on Moonrise, a fun and safer boat in wind such as this.

Mike and Andrew on Moonrise, a fun and safer boat in wind such as this.

Generally Mike and I can rely on each other in terms of talking off ledges. But this time, I must have been fairly persuasive, and, of course, Mike gets afraid for Andrew, too. In times like these we become like boats that are so heavy they cannot sail out of their own way. Tired of the drama of all the boat things going on at once, he took Moonrise for a sail and while out on the bay, cleared his mind of detritus and found that he could see the wisdom in letting Andrew use the boat for his last couple of years in school. We’ll still be here, and then we could sell the boat at that time and use the money for a refit on whatever boat we had. He came home and was certain of his decision. We felt the stars were aligning behind this. Boy, were we wrong. That’s the problem with stars.

So now the crazy gets worse. Mike calls Andrew and says we want him to use Moonrise. I call our listing broker and tell her we are taking the boat off the market. And I get this stunned silence in response. Initially, that confused me because I had just been telling her a couple of days before that we were considering this move and would let her know as soon as possible, so I figured she would be disappointed, but not exactly stunned. The silence was a disturbing response. Her eventual reply? “I think I might have a buyer for you. Are you sure?”  If this wasn’t a family-friendly blog, I would be posting some mighty unladylike words here. Let’s use symbols instead: ***##$^&#(@)$)($%&%&*$(*&#(@#&*(*&$*$&*(^!!!!!  And the real clincher is that the buyer is out here from Vermont and is going back on Tuesday. He doesn’t really have the time to give us a couple of days to think about it.

Alert readers will recall that when we made the offer on Flying Gull, there was also a sense of urgency, that there was no time to waste. Why is this seeming to be the pattern in our world lately? I will have to think on that one. There’s probably a lesson here somewhere.

This kind of crazy, daytime TV-esque drama is something we are not accustomed to in our house. We needed a break. We needed food so we went to dinner where I proceeded to eat unhealthy things, a sure sign that I am knocked for a loop. Mike had crunched the numbers again and it’s just a financially better decision to sell the boat. We need to deal with Andrew’s boat separately. Well, duh.  I know all the money geniuses who read this blog will be breathing their collective sighs of relief. You go right ahead if it makes you feel better.

Andrew kept Skippy from jumping off the boat to get to the sea lions. Even our dog is crazy.

Andrew kept Skippy from jumping off the boat to get to the sea lions. Even our dog is crazy.

So now we have succeeded in jerking our broker around, jerking the potential buyer around,  and, worse than both of those things, jerking our son around. And, of course, we feel jerked around by ourselves. If we weren’t driving this train, we could get mad at someone but the sad truth is we are completely in charge. We are flippin’ ridiculous. All because when fear creeps in, rational decision making runs out the back door. Brokers just don’t get paid enough to deal with crazy people. And from the outside looking in, we look all kinds of crazy.

So we are sorry to have jerked everyone on the tail end of our chain. And especially sorry to have raised our son’s hopes, only to dash them, but again, I look for the reason in all of this. And I discover that I have some work left to do in letting go of my mother’s guilt for a son’s mishap. So maybe it’s worth it if I can clear my heart of this for once and for all. That will not put my son in a safer boat, but it will put my heart in a safer place, and that’s all to the good when it comes to choosing boats and letting go. So, I’m working on it.

But don’t think for one minute that the question of Danger Kitten is a settled one. We’ll be looking for a pocket cruiser to replace her. She’s an excellent little boat but not for sailing where he wants to go. He’s in the same position with her as we are with Moonrise.  He’ll continue to enjoy her until we find the right one, knowing her limitations and respecting them. We will take our time and enjoy the search, I hope. It will have a galley, and an enclosed marine head, and it will have either a full keel or wide fin keel. And it will be under 30 feet LOA and will be built to cross oceans. Like his parents, Andrew wants to sail far over the sea. If we could afford to buy that little Flicka I recently reviewed, that would be cool.  But we’re looking below that price range..well below it. I know the right boat is out there, and it will appear at the right time. Keep your eyes open for us, okay?

Andrew adjusting a sail on Moonrise a couple of years ago.

Andrew adjusting a sail on Moonrise a couple of years ago.