“What are you doing in that freezer?”, I asked, trying failing to keep my tone neutral.
“I saw you had ice in your drink the other night and I want some ice!” Michael is rummaging around in the freezer in a way that is setting my teeth on edge since the freezer is packed completely full and only I know how everything fits together in the one square foot of space we have for frozen foods. I am not amused, although I am not averse to his getting ice for his well-deserved drink. I begin to think about how I can get the ice to be on the top of everything so he won’t have to dig next time. My teeth can’t take the added stress right now.
“Well, Mister Man, be sure to put everything back exactly the way you found it because it took me an hour to tetris all that stuff just so into that little munchkin freezer and it was not easy. I had to take out frozen chicken thighs, which I am not even sure how I’m going to use at this point, to make room for all the cheese I’m storing in there. I’m prepared to be off grid here! I’m prepared to have to feed us for months without a decent grocery store! And in spite of how overly prepared I am, now we have been here at this (creative swear words here) dock so flipping long that I am beginning to have anxiety about leaving. I tell you I am prepared! All cabinets, the fridge, the freezer..all possible stowage is packed tighter than a church pew on Christmas. So just get everything back in the freezer the way I had it. K?”
Michael, accustomed as he is to my unfounded anxieties, retorted as his plastic ice cubes clinked noisily into his glass: “Well, we’ll just put your anxieties about leaving along with all the other anxieties we have about life in general right about now. How about that?”.
I guess he’s not wrong. We’re both getting a little antsy here at the dock in Ensenada. It’s been too long since we have anchored this boat. Too long since we have sailed this boat or even motored this boat. We have been here at this dock TOO LONG. When I start knowing my way around town, then we have been in a place too long. The security guard knows me now. Oh, hell no!
This post is going to degrade rapidly into a bit of a ramble, but I won’t even apologize for that.
Honestly, I have just about reached a tipping point with this whole ‘we live here now’ dock living we have been doing since our belated return from the homeland in Washington State; somewhere on or around January 17. This is a weird thing, this tipping point. When we have to be on a dock, at first I feel like that’s going to be a nice break from the stress of always living at anchor at the whim of mother nature. We can walk into town. Going for groceries is easy. We can buy boat parts we didn’t know we needed. What’s not to like?
But soon I begin to feel like I’m getting ‘soft’; like if I don’t get back out there away from the easy life of land I’m not going to want this life of ease to end. I’m going to start leaning into being lazy. I’m going to be at risk of embracing the sloth. Days and weeks are going to pass with absolutely nothing to show for it. I’ll end up doing nothing with my life besides watching Instagram videos and sitting on my ass in the evening eating things that are surely shortening my very existence, dreaming of the day I can get back to refinishing furniture in the basement and planting seeds in the land dirt. Maybe I am the only person who feels this way about dock living. Most people seem to love it and it’s fine with them that they don’t have to worry about anchors holding or being on a lee shore.
When I begin to be this accustomed to easy street, I begin to get anxious once again about the day when we have to leave the dock. I’ll start planning how to get out of the slip and begin looking at tide and current charts well in advance so I have a concrete plan on how we will do this without messing up other boats. Even though we have literally NEVER MESSED UP ANOTHER BOAT when leaving our slip. Literally never. Does this mean I am finished with the cruising life? It does not. What it means is that I don’t have enough to keep my brain occupied in a positive direction so it has begun to entertain itself. Don’t try to understand me. I’m complicated.
Anyway. We are still in Ensenada at Cruiseport Marina. Why? Because this trip, destination Banderas Bay to an eventual Pacific Crossing, has taken way too long overall and it continues to do so. Let’s recap this trip so far:
Return to land life in Olympia, Washington during covid times. Get jobs. Sell house. Buy different house. Remodel house. Move into house for the briefest of moments in time. Continue working on boat during all of this, including pulling and replacing all chainplates, re-rigging, modifying the settees in the salon, replacing mattresses in aft cabin, among many other expensive and time consuming projects. Prepare to leave the dock in April 2023. Everything is seemingly falling into place until then. Full. Stop.
Our delays begin when, during the final countdown to leaving Olympia aboard our beloved Galapagos, we are faced with an unplanned remodel of the apartment at our house. We had always planned to remodel that hovel of an apartment SOMEDAY, after the current renter left. But we didn’t know he was leaving until two weeks before he did. This was a curveball that, while welcome in many ways, would have been better thrown like 3 months before it landed on us. Wait.
That’s only partly true. The delays began when we could not, in a timely way, get on the schedule of the guy who did our fiberglass work. Those two delays together, the refit and the apartment remodel, started us off in what was a delay that would have a trickle down effect.
It was August 1 before we were able to leave. Our plans for Alaska were cancelled once again; our plans to circumnavigate Vancouver Island gone, once again. Between one thing and another it took us way too long to get the heck out of the Pacific Northwest. By June we had planned to be sailing down the coast. Once we made the big left turn outside of Neah Bay it was already September. And it took even longer than we could have foretold to make it down to southern California. Leaving in this late, we chose to stick close to the coast rather than sail offshore and risk being in one gale after another. While it seemed like our weather window was a good one, it turned out that we either had zero wind with sloppy and uncomfortable seas or gales. So we spent a lot of time gnashing our teeth tied to a dock or at anchor somewhere waiting for weather systems to pass. So one thing leads to another. This, we know.
Still, no sense getting down into Mexico before November (due to hurricane season and all) so we spent time in the Channel Islands, which is always a good idea. Honestly, this was the best, most enjoyable part of the entire trip so far. By the time we got to San Diego, it was clear our batteries were dying so we had to replace those. Another delay. If I didn’t know that this is sometimes how it goes, I’d think someone ‘up there’ had something against us.
And let’s not forget that when we finally did leave San Diego, we ran afoul of some kelp in the channel that actually wrapped itself around our prop, leading us to call it quits and go back to the anchorage for another night. That was not a long delay, but it did just feel like more of the same. By the time we got to Ensenada, it was time to go home for the holidays. I guess we could have skipped that and gone directly to La Cruz, but it’s a good thing we didn’t. Family issues back home meant we had to reschedule our flight back and didn’t get back to Mexico until the middle of January.
Back in Mexico, we didn’t want to leave Ensenada until I had been able to get an overdue physical exam (so much easier to schedule that here, and cheaper, too), had my teeth cleaned, and had a couple of retainers made for my teeth since apparently I tend to gnash them on the regular. This had always been part of the plan. Those are checked off the list, finally. (An hour consultation with an Internal Medicine doctor for $58. Complete lab profile, including test for parasites and checking electrolyte levels for 60$. That’s 6 pages of lab results. Teeth cleaned for $50. Two retainers for 150$. Thanks, Mexico.)
While I was busy with medical and dental, and catching up with clients, Michael needed to fix the outboard engine that seemed to hate going at low speeds. It expressed its disdain by misfiring and sometimes outright stalling. Mike finally got traction on that today thanks to an older gentleman who works at a local shop specializing in outboard engines. Michael showed him a video he took of what the engine was doing and the guy, correctly, diagnosed the issue and sold him the part for it. It was some kind of rubber covering for the spark plug. It needed replacing. Ten dollars later the engine is finally ready. This is great because it means we can putt putt along close to shore, staring down into the water like we do. And Michael will be able to enjoy the scenery without staring at the outboard, a puzzled frown on his face.
I’m still working for a living, so it was hard to leave Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday of this week, and we could leave tomorrow but another big rainstorm is coming through with pretty big swells coming directly from the west, so they’d be right on our beam as we head south. That sounds like fun, doesn’t it? No. It does not.
Maybe…Sunday? There isn’t supposed to be wind that day but I don’t care if we have to motor for 100 miles. It’s time to go before I become ossified into this slip and attached to a life whose biggest challenge is whether my Google Translate app is up to date. So for now, barring any other delays, we are leaving on Sunday. I’ll make some sort of sacrifice to the Gods of Leaving the Dock Safely. We have given notice to the marina. They will have our paperwork ready for us. We have listed our next port as La Cruz in Banderas Bay. That’s where so many people stage to prepare for crossing to French Polynesia. We wish. We hope and we plan. We envision warm water and beautiful fish.
Where are we going next? Who knows? At this point we will let the sea decide where we land to stay at anchor and catch our breath and remember how to sleep on a boat that is moving, Overall it will be south-ish. We still plan to cross to French Polynesia this year but will we make it? We still need to apply for a long stay visa and to find liability insurance. It just feels, I don’t know how to say it, but like the wave of energy we’d need to ride to make that happen for sure has not appeared for us yet this year; like we have just started “raising the sails” when the wind suddenly dies. That kind of thing. Maybe the energy of La Cruz will change all of that. We are trying to practice the “non attachment to outcomes” that is necessary when cruising. We are not always successful with that. But we try.
Getting this blog post up is the first step toward re-engaging with this cruising life. Let it be written. Let it be done.
S/V Galapagos, out. Not even standing by. No one keeps their radio on in this marina.
I feel your pain. All the best! You’ll do what you can do…. one day at a time.
Yeah, it’s true. We cannot control mother nature, either.
I read your frustration as they spring right off the page. Wishing you smooth sailing to your next port of call. Take care.
I so very much understand those trickle down delays. Hold fast Team Galapagos, you will get there- even if you aren’t quite sure exactly where there is.
We remind ourselves of that.
You are not alone in your ambivalent feelings about casting off the ties to civilization and easy access to the conveniences of being along side. But within minutes of releasing yourself from those restraints and feeling free and self sufficient, with the wind as your guide and your reliance on each other for safety, a whole new being envelopes you and life becomes a treasure you will have forever. Been there done that and I am so bloody envious of the experiences both good and bad you are about to be fortunate to have. Enjoy every moment and experience ,it will snap your life.
And we are envious of you having cruised during times when fewer people traveled by boat and there was less competition for space, resources, and local good will among cruisers. Your trip was before the time of super yachts, which have driven up the costs for the rest of us and changed the way local marinas see boaters. I would love to have been able to visit some of the places we will see before great crowds of boats came through and changed the local views of people who travel by boat.
As I’m reading this post I am getting that anxious feeling of leaving port too! I’m not even on the boat! I do not like that anxiety. I do know it’s just the way it works with some!
I’m hoping things go as planned on Sunday and on your way to wherever!
Stay safe and enjoy the ride!
The best part of your writing is that it is decidedly YOU! I immensely appreciate your transparency and humility as you navigate your life. Knowing you two and having cruised side by side, I can truly understand a lot of what you are experiencing. I see progress being made toward your worthy goals and that is what true success is anyway. The timing of everything WILL work out for you Have a wondrous sail south! ❤️👏🙏
It took us some time to understand that cruising life is not about self-imposed hardships.
We all get anxious before any sail. I am always on edge and worried. On our last sail from Fiji to New Zealand (typically a rough one), it wasn’t until I caught my first glimpse of New Zealand did I finally felt a bit at ease. It was only then I knew we weren’t destined to die on this trip.
Please tell me you are going to Galapagos. That was the dream when you started, right? You can get your LSV for FP at the embassy in Panama, Panama. (check to make sure you have been outside of the USA long enough – else they require you to go home and get it).
Be safe and have fun,
Mark
We really do want to go to the Galapagos. It has been a lifelong dream of mine since I knew they existed. In fact, I have a bit of a ‘talisman’ we carry aboard. It’s a research paper I did on the Darwin finches back when I was an undergraduate. I have had it all of these years. Honestly, I didn’t think of getting our LSV in Panama, so thanks very much for mentioning that. We will look into that as a possibility. It would give us more flexibility in terms of time, perhaps, than getting it in Mexico
The best thing about getting your LSV in Panama is you do not need to give them your passport to send off. Panama requires all visitors to carry their passports at all times. Therefore, you give the French Embassy a copy since you need to follow the laws while there. They might ask for a letter explaining why you can’t leave your passport (not a big deal to write).
The best thing about getting your LSV in Panama is you do not need to give them your passport to send off. Panama requires all visitors to carry their passports at all times. Therefore, you give the French Embassy a copy since you need to follow the laws while there. They might ask for a letter explaining why you can’t leave your passport (not a big deal to write).