Sugar and Spice…. Not So Nice? Oh, the Political Incorrectness!

Just saying… In the Gender Studies department around here, I am feeling more and more like a ‘girl’. To be fair, sometimes I enjoy being a girl. I liked being pregnant, I like that my husband is all manly and stuff, and has skills any girl would envy. Lately I’ve kind of enjoyed clothes and expensive boots (sorry, Tate). Why, just today I engaged in the time-honored girl activity of retail therapy. Keeping the economy alive, folks, just keeping it alive. We’ve come a long way since the 1960’s when I was a child and fervently wished I had been born a boy so I could have both adventures and upper body strength. Yes, we’ve come far, but not far enough!

I admit it. This is what I like best. It requires nothing of me except to know how to set up the hammock.

What gives? Well, I’ll tell you! Mike and Andrew are going to have an adventure next week. And not just any old ‘father/son’ adventure like throwing a ball, which they never, ever did, by the way. It will be a sailing adventure on Danger Kitten, Andrew’s Ericson 25. They are moving Danger Kitten down from Bellingham Bay to Tacoma for the winter.  And I hate them for it just a little bit. Okay, maybe hate is too strong a word, but I’m having a little gender jealousy moment at the very least and I deserve to have some foot-stomping to go with it. If Andrew had two dads, we’d both be going!

“But Melissa”, you say. “You love sailing! Might one inquire why you aren’t going on this grand adventure that is happening right before Armageddon? Surely this would be the best thing you could do during the end times!”  And to that I would say, “Exactly!”  Except for this: The Universe works in mysterious ways and one of those ways was to create men to be able to stay warm without the application of a constant, uninterrupted outside heat source. I may be generalizing here, which I do on occasion when talking gender roles, but I think I will be forgiven for saying that women complain about being cold more than men do. And it’s bloody cold AND wet out there with worse to come.

Here’s the forecast for the weekend of the 14th of December, when they will be traveling:

“… bitterly cold air mass developing in the Yukon, some ‘surface waves’ will skirt over the top and down along the BC coast for more cold rain. One of these waves may arriving by Fri Dec 14. The weekend of Dec 15 looks to mirror this coming weekend: chilly, showery, snow below the passes.

This forecast does not focus on wind. So it will either be windy and cold and wet, or calm and cold and wet. You see the trend?

Sailors, there is no glory or enjoyment to be found in sailing a small boat with no dodger and no heat in conditions that are likely to bring on pneumonia. As a mother and a girl, I was dead worried about Andrew making that trip either alone or with some inexperienced friend. We get some high winds in the winter around here, and his boat isn’t exactly set up for that yet. I began to fret.  I began to be sleepless worrying about it. I began buying him things.

Oh, they’ve done this before. This was about 8 years ago, aboard the Saucy Sue, our Catalina 27. Do they look like they are having fun? Am I taking the photo from inside the cabin? You bet I am. It’s a wonder Andrew grew up to enjoy sailing with memories like this.

In a brilliant display that gave me hope, the Universe heard my worry and when I went on Ebay to see if I could find some used sailing bibs for Andrew, I immediately found, at the very top of the page,  a ‘buy it now’ deal on brand new, with tags, Gill sailing bibs just like Mikes, in the right size for ……badaboom… $85. With shipping. Score! Here is a video of Andrew testing them out: (Kids do some interesting things in a college dorm.)

While I was busy worrying and soothing myself by spending money, Mike and Andrew were busy colluding without informing me. I had probably two or three days of girl-worrying without knowing they had decided Mike would be going with Andrew on the trip. You see what happens when a father has a son like this? They talk to each other but not to the girl. Apparently this is some kind of Law of Male Behavior as this pattern is repeated in households and college dorms all over the world. Yes, yes, (insert hand flapping here) of course I’m grateful my son has such a great dad. Move on.

Mike and Andrew being manly men together while I hold the boat on course. Barkley Sound, BC. Damn I want to go back up there.

When I waxed disappointed that I didn’t get to go, too, Mike replied that he could take the cold better than I could. That might be true, but I don’t have to like it and I reserve the right to pout about it. The truth is that because of my girl-metabolism, which, by the way, I’m not seeing the point of since I don’t exactly have to conserve energy to grow children anymore, I would be lowly and miserable on that trip. Cold and rain is a sure recipe for disaster for me. I only hope it won’t be for them.

Don’t let anyone say I don’t at least try to pull my own weight. Also, this was before we invested in decent inflatable life preservers. I can attest to the fact that the big ones are warmer. Yes, I was completely miserable. And yet I did it. Why? Why?

So now all I get to do to participate in this little outing is the usual wife/mother/girl stuff like making sure they have plenty of nourishing food on board and plenty of things to keep them warm, like a box of hand warmers from Costco. It’s not that they are not capable of thinking ahead to what they will need for any contingency….. HAHAHAHAH! Who am I kidding?

Then I wait for 3 or so days at home while they are out having boy fun and bonding time and seeing whales, no doubt. Stupid boys and their stupid boy clubs. Rats. Maybe I will go have a spa day or something. Or buy shoes. I’m sure you’ll get to read all about it when Mike brags blogs about the grand adventure.

Maybe these would make me feel better. Hmmmm?

 

And the Winner is… S/V Danger Kitten!

The real Danger Kitten! Take care!

Andrew and I were having a mother/son conversation recently about the lack of a name for his boat. Andrew was telling me that he feels a little sorry for the boat. He really loves it, but he feels like he is the first owner to feel that way. Even though this little Ericson 25 was well kept and clean, he just didn’t feel like previous owners had given their hearts to the boat. And he couldn’t explain why he felt that way.

I thought it probably had something to do with the fact that the boat had no name. I mean, boats just have names. That’s all there is to it. They are named ‘things’ and this name gives them a sort of consciousness that people who love boats feel in their bones. That’s why we can talk all day long about what we want in a boat, but if the boat doesn’t feel like the right one, it’s not going to become ours. Just like Mr. Right, a boat can look good on paper, but if it doesn’t make our heart throb, we’re going to walk away. It’s beyond logic. Boat lovers know this and accept it. A boat with no name is kind of like an orphan, even if it has an owner who keeps it clean.  A boat with no name is sad.

The name sort of defines the vessel in a way, making a statement about not only the owner’s feelings, but about the qualities of the boat in terms of its personality, at least the personality the owner wants the boat to embody. Additionally it allows people to bond with the vessel in the same way they bond with, say, their pets (sort of). Boats require care, money, and attention and it’s so much easier to spend this kind of energy on something that you feel attached to rather than something that is simply a toy to play with.  So I asked Andrew what qualities he wanted to bring out in his boat.

French Danger Kitten

He had been spending quite a lot of time aboard the little boat and thought she was extra saucy with a bit of an attitude. She wanted to sail fast, but the sail plan was inefficient and pretty much not worthy of the boat’s capabilities. He thought the boat felt young and inexperienced, like no one had bothered to let it explore its limits yet. And it had an edge of danger about it, but mostly in the ‘wanting to explore the world’ kind of danger, an adventurous kind of danger. Nothing serious. He felt like he would need to keep the boat safe while it grew up a bit in this way. He felt like in spite of the boat’s small size, it had a big boat attitude. I mentioned that this could lead to trouble unless kept in check. (A fact that I know all too well.)

Later that evening he came into our bedroom, as he often will, to continue the discussion. He and Mike and I began exploring adjectives and metaphors that might lead to a name. Mike, who likes to name his projects at work, was trying to do something with the word ‘marmot’, a word which he especially likes. (Our family is a little wierd in this way. We like words.) Little, saucy, adventurous, dangerous, disgruntled (don’t know where that one came from), the list went on and it soon became clear that an animal name was needed, combined with an adjective. Sea Monkey was batted around a bit more, but it just wasn’t quite the thing. Mike suddenly blurted out ‘Danger Kitten’, and the conversation just came to a halt, because that was just brilliant. Andrew thought it was a keeper, but wasn’t quite ready to commit.

He decided to spend a little more time on the boat sailing, anchoring, bonding, and then see if the boat lived up to its name. He practiced rolling it off the tongue, saying things like ‘I’m going down to the marina to work on the Kitten’ and ‘The fuse in the Kitten blew again and I’m working on the wiring’ and ‘Danger Kitten and I are going out.’ It didn’t hurt that the name provided endless amusement when talking to his girlfriend, especially in front of her parents. My son has an excellent sense of humor.

Danger Kitten with sword and boots. En guarde!

I believe Andrew is truly in love with his boat. Now that it has personality, it’s even more apparent how much he is enjoying her. He’s practically a live aboard and I know he is already planning how far he can go with this boat.  He left on Friday and has been anchoring here and there, just enjoying being out on Danger Kitten, sometimes with a friend, sometimes alone. He was supposed to come home today, but called and said he won’t be home for a few more days. Let the adventuring begin! If he can bother to get home for a few days, we’ll have a christening party and look for someone to design a logo for the boat. Now, if only I could interest him in writing a blog.

S/V Danger Kitten, a little boat with a big attitude!