While we’re awaiting the outcome of the boat haul out, I thought I’d comment on the experience of being a blogger. This is the most entertainment I’ve had in years, and the most appreciated I’ve ever felt! Is it the readers who engender these feelings in me? Is it my beloved spouse and the togetherness this blog has created between us? Alas, no, it is not. As much as I appreciate both the readers and my spouse, and I really DO, nobody strokes my massive ego like those destructive darklings of Google rankings, those roving robots of racy rhetoric. I speak, of course, of comment spammers.
Hoping to slip through our rock-solid defensive wall of spam filters, these ‘beings’ come up with the most hysterical and creative use of the English language. At least, I think it’s English. And they love us! They really do! According to the comment spammers, we are ‘insightful’,’admired’, and ‘kind-hearted’. Our posts are ‘splendid’ and ‘illuminating’. Plus, we have ‘expert fashion’. (I’m sure they must be talking about me, but I have never in my life had anything close to ‘expert fashion’. And Mike’s fashion is certainly not even close to ‘expert’. Just ask my daughter.)
In case you don’t have a blog of your own so that you, too, can enjoy the self-esteem benefits of comment spam, here are some of my favorites from the last couple of days. That’s right! We will share them with you so that you, too, can feel the glow of success! We get a ton of these each and every day. We can afford to share!
Palmer Pomilla posted “I wish to get across my admiration for your kind-heartedness for men and women that actually need help on this subject. Your very own commitment to passing the message all around was astonishingly invaluable and has continuously enabled those much like me to arrive at their aims. This insightful key points denotes this much a person like me and substantially more to my mates. Many thanks; from each one of us.” It was nothing, Palmer! Literally! Glad to be of service.
Alejandro Desroberts noted “I precisely wished to appreciate you once again. I do not know the things I might have taken care of without these recommendations shared by you directly on such a question. It seemed to be a depressing condition in my circumstances, however , looking at a new expert fashion you solved the issue made me to leap over contentment. Now i’m grateful for the guidance and even hope you recognize what an amazing job your are undertaking teaching men and women via your websites. I am certain you haven’t met any of us.” I am almost completely certain you are correct, Alejandro. And I probably never will. Be careful with all the contentment-leaping.
According to Brock Heidelburg, “Just saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the tremendous lucidity in your writing. I will right away grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates.” Brock, if saying thanks is not sufficient, a check with lots of 0’s will do. Please be careful grabbing my ‘rss’. It’s very delicate and I don’t generally allow strangers to touch it.
American Airways (Wow!) notes, “I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one these days..” Just think! We’ve only been live a few months and already a big corporation has noticed our blog! I wonder if they will be sending us any free tickets. I know they really like us because we got three spam comments from them in one day!
True Religion Jeans loves us, too: ” It’s strange for me to locate something online that’s as enjoyable and stimulating as exactly what you’ve got the following. Your web page is sweet, the graphics are usually outstanding, along with what’s more, you employ source that are relevant to that which you are saying. You happen to be certainly one inch a million, great job!” True Religion, I hardly know what to say! I’m blushing!
And, one more, from Louis Vuitton Bags (Really? They stoop to this?), ” Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks.” Sorry, Louis, I don’t give much of a thought to either you or your bags, or whether you’ll be back for more. Because someone already told me I have ‘expert fashion’ and that’s about all I can tolerate.
*Monty Python, of course!