Spam Spam Spam Spam, Lovely Spam, Wonderful Spam!*

While we’re awaiting the outcome of the boat haul out, I thought I’d comment on the experience of being a blogger. This is the most entertainment I’ve had in years, and the most appreciated I’ve ever felt! Is it the readers who engender these feelings in me? Is it my beloved spouse and the togetherness this blog has created between us? Alas, no, it is not. As much as I appreciate both the readers and my spouse, and I really DO, nobody strokes my massive ego like those destructive darklings of Google rankings, those roving robots of racy rhetoric. I speak, of course, of comment spammers.

Is this what a comment spammer looks like? Probably.

Hoping to slip through our rock-solid defensive wall of spam filters, these ‘beings’ come up with the most hysterical and creative use of the English language. At least, I think it’s English.  And they love us! They really do! According to the comment spammers, we are ‘insightful’,’admired’, and ‘kind-hearted’. Our posts are ‘splendid’ and ‘illuminating’. Plus, we have ‘expert fashion’. (I’m sure they must be talking about me, but I have never in my life had anything close to ‘expert fashion’. And Mike’s fashion is certainly not even close to ‘expert’. Just ask my daughter.)

In case you don’t have a blog of your own so that you, too, can enjoy the self-esteem benefits of comment spam, here are some of my favorites from the last couple of days. That’s right! We will share them with you so that you, too, can feel the glow of success! We get a ton of these each and every day. We can afford to share!

Palmer Pomilla posted “I wish to get across my admiration for your kind-heartedness for men and women that actually need help on this subject. Your very own commitment to passing the message all around was astonishingly invaluable and has continuously enabled those much like me to arrive at their aims. This insightful key points denotes this much a person like me and substantially more to my mates. Many thanks; from each one of us.”      It was nothing, Palmer! Literally! Glad to be of service.

Alejandro Desroberts noted “I precisely wished to appreciate you once again. I do not know the things I might have taken care of without these recommendations shared by you directly on such a question. It seemed to be a depressing condition in my circumstances, however , looking at a new expert fashion you solved the issue made me to leap over contentment. Now i’m grateful for the guidance and even hope you recognize what an amazing job your are undertaking teaching men and women via your websites. I am certain you haven’t met any of us.”     I am almost completely certain you are correct, Alejandro. And I probably never will. Be careful with all the contentment-leaping.

According to Brock Heidelburg, “Just saying thanks will not just be sufficient, for the tremendous lucidity in your writing. I will right away grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates.”     Brock, if saying thanks is not sufficient, a check with lots of 0’s will do. Please be careful grabbing my ‘rss’. It’s very delicate and I don’t generally allow strangers to touch it. 

American Airways (Wow!) notes, “I am extremely impressed with your writing skills and also with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you modify it yourself? Anyway keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a nice blog like this one these days..”   Just think! We’ve only been live a few months and already a big corporation has noticed our blog! I wonder if they will be sending us any free tickets. I know they really like us because we got three spam comments from them in one day! 

True Religion Jeans loves us, too: ” It’s strange for me to locate something online that’s as enjoyable and stimulating as exactly what you’ve got the following. Your web page is sweet, the graphics are usually outstanding, along with what’s more, you employ source that are relevant to that which you are saying. You happen to be certainly one inch a million, great job!”   True Religion, I hardly know what to say! I’m blushing!

And, one more, from Louis Vuitton Bags (Really? They stoop to this?), ” Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite justification seemed to be on the internet the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they just do not know about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out the whole thing without having side-effects , people could take a signal. Will probably be back to get more. Thanks.”   Sorry, Louis, I don’t give much of a thought to either you or your bags, or whether you’ll be back for more. Because someone already told me I have ‘expert fashion’ and that’s about all I can tolerate. 

*Monty Python, of course!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

16 thoughts on “Spam Spam Spam Spam, Lovely Spam, Wonderful Spam!*

    • Oh, Joanne! You know the order of events should be chew, swallow, THEN read! Glad you are among the readers here, muffin or no muffin.

    • Well, of course we will share with you! But they will find you, never fear. So you should probably go to your blog dashboard and see what kind of spam filters are available to you. We use Akismet and so far, none of them have gone through. Of course, we have to approve any comment that is from a first time user, so that helps, too. We don’t want them using our blog to track back to their own site. That’s what they are trying to do. They are using robots to try to increase traffic to their own sites, thereby increasing their google ranking because of how google measures the importance of your site. Some of us just try to write interesting and entertaining content and then hope to get people who are interested enough to read. Others use trickery and chicanery to do their work for them. We like to thwart those people whenever possible. It gives us a certain kind of glee.

  1. So strange that you get so many spam comments. I think, in three years of blogging, I have had maybe three spam comments. Perhaps Blogger is better at blocking them, I don’t know… but I do appreciate your take on them. I’d find them annoying.

    • Talking to Mike (my programmer husband) he says he thinks Google owns Blogspot and they likely do all the filtering at their end. On WordPress, we use whichever spam blockers we decide to use and then we have access to the spam filter to read them. If you do a search on Comment spam you’ll find a ton of hits. We actually never see these unless we go into the spam filter to look at them. I do that occasionally when I need an ego boost 🙂 and also to make sure no ligitimate comments get filtered out.

  2. Melissa, you managed to hit the nail upon the top with this one! That’s weird how the spam works. I’ve only had a couple and all on the folding bike post, and I couldn’t understand what they were up to. BTW, I agree entirely with True Religion Jeans; you certainly are one inch a million!

  3. HAHAHAHA…oh ha.

    Well done indeed.
    “I will right away grab your rss feed to stay abreast of any updates”..

    I think you have a secret admirer and he’s definitely that exotic foreign type.

  4. Well, whoever he is he better watch out because my ‘feed’ has been married for 30 years and doesn’t appreciate his approach!

  5. This just in: from Feather Earrings somewhere in Canada – I have read a great deal of your site content currently and I thought I’d come up with a opinion and just state that you submit astounding stuff right here. Bookmarked this amazing site several years ago and still have been here for quite some time. Again, many thanks for doing this all shareable for the community.

    Apparently ‘Feather’, if, indeed that is her REAL name, lives in a timewarp and was able to travel into the future several years to bookmark our site, then spam me from the future! Thanks for taking the time to do that, Feather (no pun intended, naturally).

    Perhaps I need to start a new ‘spam’ of the day feature. These are positively uplifting. I could put the latest and greatest comment at the end of the post, just for your entertainment, of course, unless you want to copy and paste onto your own blog comment section where you can use it yourself. No problem.

  6. Wow! Your commenters are much more verbose than my spam guys were. All I ever got were one-liners like, “I much admire your writing style.” Maybe if they’d had as much flash as your guys I wouldn’t have switched to WordPress where I haven’t seen a spam message yet.

    -Steve

    • Can’t you get into your spam filter? We’re on wordpress, and though the spam never gets through, we can go look at it for our own entertainment and ego-boosting. Maybe you, too, have verbose spam and just don’t know it!

  7. Too funny Blogspot is pretty good about filtering the spam bots but I did get one worth holding on to. It was on a post featuring a photo of the baby accepting boat supplies from the post. Ready?

    BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN Why American men should boycott American women Boycott American Women I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women? American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least. This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women. Tens of millions of American men have had their lives completely destroyed by American women through the on (sic)

    It takes a special kind of mental giant to post this on an American woman’s blog who is married to a European. lol

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.