Suddenly Buddhist

Andrew with Franny on board. We said goodbye to Fran this year.

You have to be careful what you wish for in this world. This saying is well known  and yet we continue to wish for things and then suffer when they come true. Maybe the Buddhists are right: all suffering comes from attachment. If this is true, then we must be pretty attached to Moonrise because suddenly we are filled with suffering, fear, and loathing.

The reason is simple: suddenly there is considerable interest in our boat by potential buyers. Moonrise has been on the market for a couple of months now and the good weather is here; weather that inclines people toward being out on the water. All the time Moonrise has been for sale, we’ve been a bit perplexed by how many people have read the website advertisement, checked her out on Craigslist, emailed us how great she looks. Everything but asked to see her in person. We began to think maybe she wouldn’t sell, maybe we were not meant to sell her.

This has given us a false sense of security. We think of ways we could be comfortable on Moonrise while crossing a wild and woolly ocean. Mike continues to do little projects on the boat, as though she isn’t going anywhere. We continue to spend time on the boat whenever possible. In short, we continue to act like boat owners because nothing has told us that we are not. We’ve been in sweet, sweet denial.

Decent wind on Commencement Bay

Suddenly people are showing an actual interest in seeing the boat. We showed the boat to a nice couple yesterday. It would probably be perfect for them and I know they would care for it lovingly. We show the boat again tomorrow. This mean it’s possible we might actually be boatless for at least part of the summer, or even longer because right now there is nothing on Yachtworld that we like and can afford.

Frankly, this just makes me want to cry. I try to soothe myself by thinking things like ‘we’ll get another boat’, ‘think of all the money you can put into the boat kitty when you don’t pay moorage for awhile’, ‘you cannot buy another boat until Moonrise finds a new home’, etc. Mike tries to comfort me, and himself, by telling me ‘we’ll get another boat, don’t worry’.  It does not help. I just want to grab onto the safety lines and hang on. My two year old self wants to stomp my feet and shout, “MY BOAT! Mine mine mine!”. Maybe I can add some jumping up and down, and then throwing myself on the ground kicking and screaming, little fists pounding, to that picture.

The thing is, she is such a pretty boat. Anchored up in Barkley Sound.

Why, oh why do we get so attached to boats?  What is this thing in some of us that personifies boats in the same way we do houses? How is it possible to give our hearts to things that are, in the end, objects? Of course we know that we will always have the memories, yadda yadda yadda. Why does that not help in the least?

I’m going to have to practice channeling my inner Buddhist during this process of boat selling. But I’m pretty sure that regardless of how good I get at that, when we sell Moonrise, I’m going to cry like a baby. Note to the universe: please send us buyers who will love this boat with all of their hearts.

Moonrise under sail. Photo by EJHulsizer

10 thoughts on “Suddenly Buddhist

  1. We get so attached to things because of the good times we had, the memories of our children growing up there whatever the reason things become a part of us. Just remember in order to go forward you can’t keep looking back. You will cry most likely, I would too but it all part of the process. Think of all the fun you’ll have on your not yet found new boat.

    • Yes, I think the first photo of Andrew and Franny on the boat says it all. I know once it’s a done deal I will be able to move forward to the next boat with joy.

  2. Sometimes the process of change is the most painful part. But we can’t get to the “Hellos” without some measure of “Goodbyes”.

  3. I get it. The boat has become part of your family. Letting go of it is like letting go of a pet. Saying goodbye is never easy.

    Can you send me an email at bvi.dreaming@gmail.com? I need to ask you a couple of questions about that stuff you wrote about on my blog page.

  4. I am so happy for you that people are showing interest. I know you get attached to something that has brought you so many good memories, and change is hard.

    But Life is always changing. In order to move forward and attain your dreams, you have to let go of the past and step out into territory unknown. The rewards can be great. Reality is setting in…I am hoping you find a good home for Moonrise, and then find another boat you can love as well.

    There is another boat out there for you. One that will take you to faraway lands like your are dreaming. Let Moonrise bring someone else happiness..

    Goodluck!
    Dani

  5. “Let Moonrise bring someone else happiness.” Now that comment is probably just the thing! It seems to work for me in getting rid of stuff in the house, even stuff I have a little emotional attachment to. The idea that I am releasing it to bring someone else service or happiness has helped a great deal. So I will try that with Moonrise!

  6. We get attached because boats require so much in the way of care and feeding- almost like a kid. I hope you Moonrise finds a wonderful new owner who will create many happy memories of their own on her. I think that is the thing about boats, we are just taking care of them while they are in our custody before they go on to finish their story. Yup, boats are a lot like kids. Hang in there. Your next boat will be loved by you every bit as much as Moonrise and just think of the places she will take you…

    • Care and feeding… yes, I think that’s very true! I have to laugh because it really is a bit like having a pet, or even a child in some ways. And the money we spend! Exactly like some kind of sentient being. I like the idea of boats being ‘in our custody’ for awhile, not our ownership. Maybe that’s why it’s always a bit sad to see boats that have been neglected. It’s sort of like seeing children with parent who don’t take care of them. Now that’s a thought!

  7. It’s fantastic that people are interested and also bittersweet. Boats have personality. I know that’s anthropomorphizing. But it’s so true, and it’s what binds us close to them. Buenos suerte letting her go.

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